


Enthralled

by randomwriter57



Series: Reigisa Week 2017 [7]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Skating, Ballet, Falling In Love, Ice Skating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-19 02:23:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9413666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomwriter57/pseuds/randomwriter57
Summary: Ice skating never interested Rei before now. Before he found Nagisa.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my last reigisa week piece for this year! It's a little sad that the fandom is so quiet now, so we haven't had as much content, but it's really nice to have seen a bit more reigisa than usual this week!  
> This piece is an ice skating AU! Disclaimer: I'm not a professional skater, so whilst I've tried to do my research and keep this as realistic as possible, please bear with me. I'll be happy to explain any terms you don't understand either in the comments or on any of my social media (links in the end notes as usual).  
> Thanks for reading and sticking with me! Have a great day/night.
> 
> Written for [Reigisa Week 2017](http://reigisaweek.tumblr.com), Day Seven: Free!

Every movement draws him further in. From the moment the video begins, Rei can’t look away. He’s too busy watching a story unfold before his eyes, told not through words but through actions. A toe caressing the ice. A hand falling through the air. An acceleration. A push. A body, spiralling.

Ice skating never interested Rei before now. He hadn’t spent time looking for it, and so didn’t think much of it. His heart lay with ballet, the sport of his choice. But the moment he opened that video, sent to him by a friend who was more interested in the sport, he fell in love. How could he not? It was ballet, but on ice. Graceful, elegant, beautiful. Everything that Rei loved.

The ice skater is not one he would have expected to like. He is young and boisterous-looking. Had they crossed paths in the street, Rei would not have taken any notice of him. Even his song choice matches what Rei assumes his personality must be - fun-loving and carefree. But somehow his movements are beautiful. The grace with which he lands from a jump, the speed of his spins. Everything about him is intriguing and entrancing.

Rei falls for him.

Once he finishes his first video, nothing can stop him from binging as many ice skating videos as he can find. Most of them are world-class skaters from different countries, especially Olympians. But time and time again, he comes back to the blond-haired skater he began with. He is certainly not perfect, not compared to the other skaters he watches. But this skater is beautiful regardless. Like a firework, he bursts into colour on the ice, every aspect of his performance alight and alive. What Rei would give to be able to see him live one day.

The opportunity comes a lot sooner than Rei expects it to.

His friend who sent him the video, Tachibana Makoto, buys him a ticket as an early birthday present.

“I’m going along too, of course,” he says. “I’d never miss a performance by Nanase Haruka.”

Rei understands why his friend is enamoured with Nanase. He’s cool and collected, flowing like a river across the ice. He is the most famous of the ice skaters performing at this particular competition. But it’s not Nanase that Rei is going to see. The skater Rei loves is performing there too.

By the time the day arrives, Rei feels he has educated himself enough on ice skating to be able to maximise his understanding and enjoyment of the event. Not only that, but he has also researched the skaters. The context isn’t necessary to enjoying their performances, but it gives Rei an excuse to look into his favourite skater’s background.

Hazuki Nagisa is a few months older than Rei and has been skating since he was eight years old, according to the JSF website. This is his third time competing in a regional competition. His goal is to aim for the Grand Prix Final, the most illustrious of the ISF figure skating events. This season, his theme is ‘happiness’. Such a broad and vague theme, and yet it seems to define everything Rei has seen him skate through online videos.

The moment Hazuki steps on the ice, Rei can feel his heart stop. Since it’s the short warm-up, he isn’t there for very long, and sometimes the other skaters get in the way, but most of the time, Rei gets a good view of him. His face doesn’t look as relaxed and carefree when he’s warming up. Maybe it’s because he’s concentrating on his programme, on the only jump he practises, which he lands without fail. Even so, his concentrating face is intriguing. Rei wants to know more of this skater’s serious side.

There are a few skaters before Hazuki. Of course, they’re all brilliant and Rei enjoys watching them. Nanase Haruka in particular is a crowd-pleaser. Beside him, Makoto looks like he might explode with excitement watching Nanase land a quad lutz. And it is amazing, Rei can admit. But it’s only when Hazuki’s turn arrives that his excitement blooms in his chest, his heart hammering.

On the ice, Hazuki does a quick lap to warm up. He waves at the crowd, and for a second, Rei swears he looks at him and smiles. But the moment passes, and Rei puts it down to coincidence. There’s no way that out of the whole crowd, Hazuki would pick one person to smile at. And in the case that he did, it’s unlikely he would choose Rei in particular.

The light catches the sequins on his costume in a stunning show of colour. It’s the waistcoat - gold and eye-catching, a bold choice for a bold skater. His shirt underneath is plain white, but it compliments the look perfectly. Hazuki looks as though he is glowing.

The music begins and he starts to skate. The piece is lively, paired with goofy facial expressions and slapstick dance moves, which merge seamlessly into awe-inspiring jumps. This boy manages to bring the arena to life. Everyone is clapping and cheering along. Even Rei feels like standing and cheering for him.

It is only halfway through the programme when Hazuki attempts his only quad jump, a quad toe loop. For a moment, when he’s in the air, it looks perfect. Then he mis-steps on the landing and falls, his hand stretching to catch himself on the ice. A half-second passes in which his face falls from its cheery facade into a grimace of pain. The moment passes, and he is skating once again, his grin returned to his face, though in a more forced manner. After that point, Rei notices he flourishes his hand less. He’s more careful with its movements.

Something cold runs down Rei’s spine, and he clutches the bouquet he brought to throw to Hazuki after the end of his performance more tightly. So much so that he doesn’t notice when the programme ends, and Hazuki has already left the ice by the time he returns to reality.

“I hope he’s okay,” Makoto muses. “That fall looked pretty painful, don’t you think- Rei?”

Rei is standing. He doesn’t know when he stood up. “I need to go.”

“At least wait until the end of the short programmes,” Makoto says, grabbing his wrist. “There are only a couple more skaters to go. Besides, you can’t just go and see someone you’ve never met, at least not until his hand’s been looked at.”

Begrudgingly, Rei returns to his seat.

The last couple of skaters could not have skated more slowly, in Rei’s opinion. But that’s his impatience showing, he knows this. The moment the final scores have been announced (Hazuki is in third place, but not here to celebrate it), Rei stands and heads for the steps leading out of the seating area. Makoto follows him hurriedly, grappling with his jacket as he walks.

It occurs to Rei when they leave the rink area that he doesn’t know where Hazuki might be. He finds a passing stranger and walks up to them.

“Excuse me, do you know where the infirmary is?”

The stranger turns around, looking blankly at him with intense blue eyes. It dawns on Rei a moment later that he accidentally asked skating star Nanase Haruka for directions.

Those blue eyes drift away from his, latching onto those of his friend for a second before returning to him. “Downstairs. There are signs.”

“Thank you very much,” Rei says, bowing. He moves out of the way, feeling kind of guilty for bugging the gold-medal winner of the competition.

But before he can walk away, he hears Makoto speak.

“Congratulations,” he says. “Your skate was incredible, Nanase-san.”

“Thanks,” Nanase says coolly.

“I’m a big fan of your skating.”

“Really?”

Rei shoots Makoto an apologetic look and heads in the direction of the stairs, leaving his friend to chat with the current holder of first-place, Nanase Haruka.

Luckily, Nanase’s directions were not wrong. Rei finds himself standing in front of the infirmary not two minutes later, the bouquet still clasped between tension-white fingers. He takes a deep breath, then knocks in three equal measures on the door.

A nurse opens the door. “Hello? Is something wrong?”

“I was wondering if Hazuki Nagisa is here,” Rei says, trying to keep his voice steady. His palms are a little sweaty. He wipes them on his trousers.

“Yes, he is. Are you here to visit him?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll let him know he has a visitor.” The nurse smiles before heading back into the room, closing the door behind her.

Rei tries to calm his erratic heart rate. This is nothing to be nervous about. He’s only visiting a figure skater, a few months older than him. It’s not as though this is a job interview or something. Everything will be fine. Everything will be fine.

The door opens again. “Come on in.”

_Shit, this is not fine._

Entering after the nurse, Rei finds himself in the infirmary. It’s much smaller than he would have expected it to be, especially considering they’re in a place where injuries must be commonplace. There is only one bed and a couple of chairs. The bed, closer to the edge of the room, is occupied by a blond-haired boy with his arm in a sling.

“Hazuki-san, this is your visitor.”

Hazuki looks up at him, his burgundy eyes wide with surprise. Then he grins. “Hi! I wasn’t expecting any visitors, this is a surprise!”

“I-I’m sorry if I’m intruding,” Rei says, internally cursing himself for stuttering.

“No, no, it’s fine! I’m flattered that you would want to visit me. Especially after I messed up my jump like that.” Hazuki lifts his right arm, as though to scratch the back of his head, then stops, flinching in pain. The arm returns to its resting position in the sling.

“No, your performance was incredible,” Rei says. “How you were able to get up and keep skating after that, I have no idea. It was amazing.”

“Aw, thank you!” Hazuki beams. “I couldn’t give up on my skate, even if I’d hurt myself, so I’m glad it wasn’t for nothing. Too bad I won’t be able to compete in the free skate.” He looks down for a second, then returns to smiling at him. “Anyway, what’s your name?”

“Ryugazaki Rei,” he says. “These are for you, by the way.”

Hazuki gasps and takes the proffered bouquet from him with his good arm. “Thank you so much, Ryugazaki Rei-chan!”

Rei blushes a little at the familiarity of his honorifics, but doesn’t complain. How can he, to a celebrity? “Watching you skate has given me a lot of joy over the past few weeks, ever since I got interested in figure skating. I wanted to give you something to show my appreciation.”

“You’re interested in skating?” Hazuki says. “Watching it or actually doing it?”

“I’ve never skated in my life,” Rei admits, “so probably just watching. I do ballet, anyway…”

“You do ballet? That’s amazing! I’m sure you look beautiful when you dance, Rei-chan.”

The compliment makes Rei’s heart stop again, and he isn’t sure he can recover this time. He got complimented by _Hazuki Nagisa_. “N-no, I’m not that good,” he says, looking away and scratching the back of his neck.

“Aw, you’re just saying that,” Hazuki says with a laugh. “I’d love to see you dance sometime, Rei-chan. And if you like ballet, then you should give skating a try someday. I’m sure you’d be good!”

“Th-thank you.”

The nurse reappears. “Hazuki-san, we have the results of your x-ray.”

“Okay, thanks!” Hazuki says, then turns back to Rei.

Rei gets the message before Nagisa speaks it. “I should probably get going.”

He can’t tell if it’s his imagination or not, but Nagisa looks a little disappointed. “It was nice meeting you, Rei-chan. I hope we’ll meet again someday!”

“Me too,” Rei says, then bows his head. “Thank you. Please get well soon.”

The moment he gets out of the infirmary, he leans against the wall with a hand against his chest. His heart is pounding so quickly it feels like he might be back in the infirmary in a minute. He just met _Hazuki Nagisa_. Hazuki Nagisa _complimented_ him. It feels like it must be a dream.

If it is a dream, Rei hopes it never ends. With a smile on his face, he heads back towards the stairs, part of him aching for the first time in his life to put on a pair of skates and hit the ice.

 

* * *

 

Never in Nagisa’s life did he expect someone to take over his life as quickly as Ryugazaki Rei does.

He’s been inspired by people before. The entire reason he decided not to quit skating after his disastrous first lesson is because Haru inspired him to keep going. All of his programmes are inspired by the fond memories he has with his friends. He’s spent his whole life surrounded by people.

But Ryugazaki Rei is different. Maybe the glimpse he catches of him in the crowd as he prepares for his short programme is the beginning of it. Ever since that glimpse, Nagisa has felt his eyes constantly drawn towards the man with blue hair and red glasses. The last thing he sees before he enters his quad toe loop is the light reflecting from those glasses. Even after he gets back up from his fall, hand hurting more than he knows is healthy, he finds himself looking over to where he sits in the stands. As though this time, he is skating to impress that stranger in particular.

As soon as his skate ends and he gets his score at the kiss and cry, he is ushered by his coach and Haru to the infirmary. Before they leave the arena, he looks back, trying to find that blue hair in the crowd. But he can’t see him.

Ryugazaki Rei is on his mind even as he gets his x-ray done, even as the nurse puts his arm in a sling to keep it elevated. The pain is starting to get to him, now, but thinking of Rei distracts him enough to numb it. That isn’t to say he’s not relieved when the nurse gives him pain medication, of course.

Then, as though it’s fate, the nurse tells him he has a visitor. Rather than another skater or a reporter, it’s Ryugazaki Rei himself, clutching a gorgeous bouquet of flowers.

Their meeting is brief, but Nagisa can’t stop thinking about it after Rei leaves. Everything about it screams ‘fate’ at him. Maybe he should make that his programme theme next season. Fate. It has to be fate. Rei is the one he’s had his eye on all day, not to mention the fact that they both have girlish names. And he dances ballet, too! Oh, it has to have been fate. He hopes it is. That way, there’s more chance of them meeting again.

A few minutes later, Haru returns to see how he is. He catches Nagisa in the middle of taking a selfie, the bouquet of flowers balanced precariously on his slinged-up arm. He takes a shot. Deeming it acceptable, he flicks through the filters with one hand.

“Flowers?” Haru says in place of a greeting.

“Yeah, a guy called Ryugazaki Rei-chan gave them to me a few minutes ago.” Nagisa selects a filter which brings out the vibrancy of the flowers and his eyes, then starts typing a caption, each character taking an age to select. “How do you think that’s spelt? ‘Rei’.”

Haru shrugs. He’s never cared much about language or literature. If only Nagisa had thought to ask Rei which _kanji_ his name uses.

“I could leave his name out,” Nagisa says, “but I want to mention him! We have to meet again, it’s fate!”

“Is that the guy you were staring at during your programme?”

“I wasn’t staring at him!”

Haru gives him a look which suggests otherwise.

“Okay, maybe a little. But how could I not? You must have seen him, Haru-chan, he’s gorgeous.” Nagisa goes on to gush about Rei; about his looks and his disposition, how cute his nerves were when Nagisa felt jittery seeing him walk into the room. In particular, he goes on at length about the fact that Rei dances ballet, and how that would make him perfect for figure skating, if he ever wanted to take it up.

“You really like this guy,” Haru observes when Nagisa pauses for breath.

Nagisa feels warmth rise to his cheeks and looks down at the flowers in his arms. “Yeah, I do.”

The picture, as usual, gets a substantial amount of likes as soon as he posts it on instagram. Since he doesn’t know the _kanji_ for Rei’s name, he types the caption in English. He’s not quite an international figure skater yet, seeing as how he hasn’t been able to surpass Nationals so far - and it seems, once again, this isn’t the year in which he’ll qualify for the Grand Prix series. But at least using English might make him seem more accessible to international fans. Not only that, but it also makes it a lot easier to spell Rei’s name, using _romanji_.

He wonders if Rei has an instagram account. Rei doesn’t seem like the type of person to use social media much, but then again, how else would he have come across Nagisa’s skating before? He said he watched videos online, but he must have come across it on social media. He might not have instagram - but what about twitter? Nagisa hopes, if he does have an account, Rei will reach out to him at some point. Hopefully soon. Nagisa wasn’t lying to Rei when he said he wishes they can meet again someday.

Damn, he wants to skate. It’s too bad he can’t compete tomorrow. Getting injured was his own fault, of course, but he wishes it could have happened tomorrow, in his free programme when he doesn’t have another competition for a while afterwards. That would have given it time to heal. And considering his score today, he might have been able to reach the podium, this time.

Next time. In the next competition, he is going to give it his all. He is going to keep this motivation, given to him so kindly by Ryugazaki Rei, and he’s going to repay him with a beautiful performance. He wants to polish off his quad toe loop by that point, too. He feels the urge to improve, to practice, to come up with an even better programme.

“Don’t overwork yourself,” Haru says when Nagisa expresses this to him. “You need to rest.”

Resting has always been difficult for Nagisa, though. He’s always been a restless person. Always on the go, wanting to move. Skating is perfect for him, in that sense. You can’t stand still on the ice and expect a perfect score. Not that stillness can’t be used to your advantage, of course. But what pleases the crowd is the speed of your skating, the height of your jumps. And that’s Nagisa’s favourite thing about skating. The constant movement. Always having something to do, somewhere to be.

Whilst his wrist is injured, he is forbidden from skating. It pains him, watching his friends glide across the ice and not being there with them. Seeing their scores climb the leader-board, watching his own fall, marked in grey to signify his being out of the running due to injury. Even when Haru wins, the gold medal gleaming against his chest, Nagisa can’t feel fully happy for him.

A week or so after his injury, Nagisa skates. He has to take it easy and not use his arms, because of his injury. But he skates regardless. Glides along the ice without direction, practises his step sequences. No spins or jumps. That doesn’t mean he can’t practice anything, though. He needs to stay close to the ice, or else he’ll fall out of practice, fall behind.

He glides to the edge of the rink for a drink, stopping beside where Haru is standing. For once, Haru is using his phone, texting someone.

“Who are you messaging?” Nagisa asks before taking a swig of his water.

“No one,” Haru replies, closing his phone. “Just taking a break.”

Nagisa knows Haru is lying, but he doesn’t get the chance to press him for answers. He skates away to practice as soon as Nagisa goes to speak.

Frowning, Nagisa looks at his own phone, devoid of messages. He wishes he had asked for Rei’s number. That way, he could have been much further into a friendship with Rei at this point. Maybe he could have convinced Rei to take up skating. Somehow, he finds himself navigating to his instagram account, finding the selfie with the bouquet. Four hundred likes, and he has no idea if any of them could be Rei. The comments don’t give any explanation either.

One clue. One indication. One way of contacting him. That’s all he’s asking for. All he wants to do is talk to Rei, get to know him. If fate would grant him this one wish, he’d ask for nothing more. He can’t let this person slip through his fingers.

Renewed with energy, Nagisa slips his phone back into his pocket and returns to practice, launching straight into a step sequence.

 

* * *

 

When Rei first decided he wanted to learn to skate, he understood the implications of such a venture. He is an adult, after all, already in university. He knows that ice skating lessons are not targeted at people in his age group. The fact that he’s able to find adult skating classes at all feels like a miracle.

Still, as glad as he is not to make a fool of himself in front of children, doing so in front of _adults_ is intimidating on a whole other level.

As he ties his skates, he tries not to look at the other adults waiting in the prep area of his local ice rink. From a quick glance as he walked to and from the skate hire booth, he knows that only a few people are around his age, the rest being years older. The fact doesn’t intimidate him in terms of their skill levels - this is a beginner’s class, after all. He knows he won’t be the only one unable to skate at all.

But who knows what the difference in their skill levels will be after this first class.

Yanking the laces on his skates, he brings himself back to reality. This isn’t the time to be worrying about what others think of him. He needs to remember his resolve, he reminds himself as he double-knots the laces. If Nagisa knew he was thinking like this, he would be disappointed.

Rei finishes tying his skates and picks up his phone to check the time. There are still five minutes until the lesson’s starting time. He glances up, trying to avoid other people’s eyes, and notices the lockers at the other side of the room.

_‘Shoot, I forgot to store my phone and coat in a locker.’_

Well, there’s no time like the present.

Shakily, Rei stands on two thin blades, trying to focus his weight on his centre. As much as being a ballet dancer helps with this, he still stumbles like a newborn fawn on his way to the lockers. He keeps his head held high and tries not to think about the staring of the others in the room. With the help of some hand rails meant for kids, he makes it to the lockers and stores his belongings, popping a coin in to pay the fee before locking it and taking his key.

“Can group three enter the ice please?” a voice calls from the other side of the room, where he’d been sitting a moment ago.

_‘And now for the journey back,’_ Rei thinks with a grimace. He steels his resolve and walks to the other side again, managing not to break his ankle as he does. Honestly, how he is going to manage on the ice at this point, he has no idea.

His class group consists of around ten people, none of whom have familiar faces. The two coaches split them into groups of those who can skate and those who cannot. Rei joins the latter group on the ice, clinging to the barrier in what he hopes is a dignified manner, but knows is not. Beneath him, his feet slide around on the ice.

“We’re going to start by marching on the spot, keeping a hand on the barrier,” the coach taking his group says, demonstrating the movement from where she stands a few feet away from the barrier.

The movement is easy enough. It takes only a minute for Rei to feel comfortable doing it.

But then the instructor tells them to move.

At first it’s fine. He’s allowed to grip the barrier for support. It feels safer, this way, like he’s less likely to fall. But then the instructor tells them to let go of the barrier, if they’re comfortable enough, and to try to cross to the other side of the rink. In only a few minutes, Rei is the only one left clinging to the barrier he started at.

_‘This is fine,’_ Rei tells himself, even though he knows the opposite to be true.

The instructor is patient with him, at least. They tell him it’s fine for him to be unstable, considering this is his first time on the ice. Still, when at the end of the lesson he’s still marching along the same stretch of barrier (without holding on this time, at least), he can’t help the shame which colours his cheeks. It had been stupid, for him to feel so confident when he was booking the class. Now, as he follows the others off the ice, he only wants to stay on the ice and improve more, if only so he doesn’t look like so much of a fool next time.

So that’s what he does. Over the next week, he goes to the ice rink a few different nights and spends an hour marching along the barrier, legs growing more stable on the ice. By the next lesson, he impresses his instructor with his ability to go from one side of the rink to the other with such stability. After that, he is able to join the other beginner skaters as they learn how to march backwards, do bubbles across the ice, and the proper way to get up after falling. He is still slower at getting used to the manoeuvres than the others, but now he can reassure himself with the fact that he’s not still clinging to the barrier, at least.

When it gets to the fourth week of lessons, however, he begins to wonder if he can pull this off. There are only a couple of months left until the time when he wants to show Nagisa his skating, and he is still only a beginner. There is no way he’s going to be able to skate as beautifully as he wants to, at this rate. Especially not when he wanted to show Nagisa a routine of his own.

_‘But,’_ Rei thinks, heading to the dance studio for ballet practice one morning, _‘I can show him a routine on land, at least.’_

It won’t have the same effect as being able to skate it would. But if he manages to choreograph a dance which he could eventually learn to skate to, then surely that would impress Nagisa, right? After all, the blond wanted to see his dancing. What was it he had said? That he would look beautiful when he danced, right?

Well, if he can’t skate his routine, then he might as well rely on his better skills and wait to show off his newer ones when they are more refined.

Pulling his ballet slippers onto his feet, Rei heads to the barre to stretch, a new resolve filling his veins.

 

* * *

 

By the time Nationals arrive, Rei is relieved to find himself armed with a basic proficiency of skating and a ballet routine practised to perfection. Having this gives him some assurance as he enters the arena where Nationals are being held. There’s no way he will disappoint Nagisa, surely.

The arena in which the Nationals are being held is packed, surprisingly. Rei wonders if it’s because Nanase Haruka, the silver-medal winner of the Grand Prix Final less than a month ago, will be competing here today. He knows that’s why Makoto is here, at least. The two of them make their way to their seats, chatting between themselves about what they’re expecting from today.

Today is the free skate for men’s singles. Unfortunately, Rei hadn’t been able to get tickets to the short programme event, but that doesn’t matter. As long as he’s here today, he can get his message to Nagisa.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Japan Figure Skating Championships,” a lady says over the loudspeaker. “Tonight is the men’s singles free skate event. Please welcome the competing skaters to the ice.”

The audience applaud with vigour as the six skaters take to the ice, waving up at the crowd. It doesn’t take long for Rei to spot Nagisa, standing out in a pink outfit which looks almost like something a fairytale prince would wear. The blond scans the crowd as he waves, and for a moment, Rei is convinced that Nagisa’s smile grows when their eyes meet.

Then the announcer begins introducing the individual skaters, and Nagisa is facing the other way again.

 

* * *

 

Rei is here. _Rei is here._

Nagisa can’t stop thinking about it. About him.

He’s _here_.

It’s been almost half a year since their last meeting, and he’s here. Finally, he can see him again. After his free skate, he hopes he can catch Rei before he leaves. There’s a lot he wants to talk to him about.

During the warm up, when Nagisa stops to take a drink, Haru joins him at the edge of the rink.

“He’s here again,” Haru says.

“I know,” Nagisa replies, unable to contain the grin which stretches across his lips.

“Don’t get distracted by him this time.”

“I didn’t get distracted by him!” Even as he says this, he knows it isn’t entirely true. But this time, he’s going to keep his thoughts on the ice. On the emotions of his performance.

“Be careful,” Haru says, putting down his water bottle and returning to the ice.

Nagisa is going to be careful, sure. But at the same time, he feels like his programme will be anything but careful. He isn’t going to hold anything back. This time, he’ll make sure to earn a spot on the podium. This time, he’ll earn Rei’s awe. He’ll make sure nothing goes wrong.

 

* * *

 

 

Nagisa is the last to skate.

Sitting through the other performances is stress-inducing. He enjoys watching the other skaters, of course, but he wants to see Nagisa skate. And the standard is high already, watching everyone who skates before him. They’re barely making any mistakes at all. It makes Rei worry that Nagisa might be feeling nervous.

When Nagisa enters the ice, Rei’s worries are dispelled. Looking at him, Nagisa knows this is where he is meant to be. Soaking in the atmosphere, dancing on the ice. And when Nagisa’s eyes meet his, wide and bright and filled with life, Rei smiles back at him.

Nagisa skates to the centre of the ice after a short warm-up, takes a deep breath, in, out. Then he enters his starting position, arms loose by his side, head facing down. The crowd goes silent.

Music swells through the speakers, and Nagisa blooms.

This programme is like nothing Rei has seen from Nagisa before. It’s as though he is an entirely different skater. Not that the components are much different, of course. But the emotions and sentiment running through the piece are different. Deeper, somehow. He is seeing a new side to Nagisa, a more mature side. One which is sorrowful, casting longing gazes across the arena, as though searching for something.

For the first time in a long time, Rei’s heart is full.

 

* * *

 

The piece is about longing.

Nagisa searched and searched for a piece which would suit his programme theme for this year - fate. He wouldn’t settle for any random piece. It had to be the perfect piece. His coach was going ballistic by the time Nagisa found this particular song. But it is a match made in heaven. He wouldn’t have been able to skate this programme to anything else.

In the story he has crafted for the programme, a young man (i.e. him) searches for love, but can’t find it anywhere. He constantly finds partners, then loses them. It’s never love. Until one day, he meets someone who turns his world around, then disappears. From that moment, he searches for this person desperately, until at the end of the programme, he finds the one he loves and pulls them close.

Haru and the other skaters he trains with constantly tease him for the programme. It’s too cheesy, they tell him. He’s being too obvious about his feelings for this guy he’s only met once. But Nagisa doesn’t care. He wants to make his feelings obvious. He wants Rei to watch this programme and know it’s being skated for him.

For the first half of the programme, he intentionally keeps his eyes away from Rei. It’s difficult, since his heart pulls him in that direction, but he resists. After all, this pining adds to the mood of this part of the story. It also makes him more determined as he enters his only quad, the quad toe loop he fell on the last time he saw Rei. He makes the landing, hears the crowd cheering, and tries to refrain from smiling. Only a little longer.

Finally, the music flutters into a major key, strings building up the atmosphere. Coming out of the step sequence, he looks over to Rei.

That momentary glimpse of Rei is all he needs. Those lilac eyes are filled with awe, glistening even from so far away. His lips fall open when their eyes meet. Nagisa feels his heart burst.

He skates into his combination spin, falling into a dizzying love.

 

* * *

 

Nagisa is beautiful.

The moment their eyes meet, there is no denying it. Not that he would have denied it in the first place, of course. Nagisa is beautiful, and has been since the first time he saw him. But it’s only when his face lights up, catching Rei’s eye in the middle of his skate, that it really strikes him. This boy is so, so beautiful.

From that point on, Nagisa doesn’t shy away from looking at Rei. He gestures in Rei’s direction, opens himself up and lets his feelings flow. At one point, he looks lost, as though he has misplaced something. Chasing around the rink, he holds his hand out, reaching for something invisible. He speeds into a combination jump, triple flip, single loop, triple toe. Still searching.

The climax of the programme arrives with tremendous percussion, strings lifting them into another realm of being. Nagisa enters another spin, the sequins on his costume casting light across the room. Finally, he stops spinning and looks up at Rei again. Eyes brighten, and he smiles, more beautiful than any other smile Rei has ever been given. He ends the programme with his hands outstretched, head tipped back as though in relief.

Despite the noise of the crowd cheering, everything feels silent to Rei. He is numb. All he feels is the constant beat of his heart, and the rush of affection in his veins. Standing, he throws his bouquet of flowers onto the ice, where they land almost perfectly in front of Nagisa, who is taking his bows.

Nagisa gasps and picks up the bouquet, giving them the same affectionate look as he gave the ones from half a year ago. Then he looks up to Rei, puts a hand to his lips, and blows a kiss in his direction.

Rei’s breath hitches.

A moment later, Nagisa is at the edge of the rink, putting on his skate guards as a few young girls pick up the other flowers and memorabilia that have been thrown to the ice for him. Now is the difficult part - waiting for Nagisa’s score and praying that he makes it onto the podium. After a flawless performance like that, Rei is sure he will get enough points. He has faith in Nagisa.

“Looks like you’ve got an admirer,” Makoto teases him.

Though he rebuts his friend’s joke, he can’t help the smile which crosses his face at the thought of being someone Nagisa admires.

 

* * *

 

_Meet me at the public rink after the closing ceremony._

Most years, Nagisa would not have time to fulfil such a request. Especially after earning a bronze medal. After all, there are still press conferences and interviews to do before he can get ready for the post-Nationals banquet later on. But today, he is making the time.

After begging his coach to let him go, Nagisa rushes out of the arena, disguised in a cap and sunglasses, and runs in the direction of the public rink. It’s only a five-minute walk from the arena, making it easy for him to get there. In his head, he thanks Rei for choosing somewhere so close by.

Nagisa’s mind is bursting with questions. As much as he wants to see Rei, he wonders why Rei picked the public skating rink, of all places. He wonders if Rei understood the message of his free skate. (It wasn’t exactly subtle, as his rink mates constantly remind him.) He wants to know if Rei feels the same.

Part of him wonders (and maybe dares even to _hope_ ) if Rei wants to show him something on the ice. Maybe he’s learnt to skate something - it’s only been a few months, and Rei had said he hadn’t skated before, but he seems like the type of person who could easily learn a new skill in an incredibly short amount of time. Or maybe he thought Nagisa would feel more comfortable at an ice rink, one which will be quiet at this time of the evening.

For the most part, he doesn’t worry too much. He lets his elation carry him into the foyer of the rink, where a receptionist smiles knowingly and points him towards the arena.

The double doors are already open when he reaches them, so his entrance goes unnoticed by the sole person forming figure eights on the ice. Nagisa simply stares, for a minute or two, entranced by how gracefully Rei holds himself on the ice, how natural his movements seem even though he’s still a newcomer to the sport. It’s as though he was born to be on the ice - or maybe it’s the way he holds himself, drilled into him through years of ballet classes.

Still, the moment cannot last forever. Eventually, Rei looks up and notices Nagisa. He startles and falls back onto the ice in surprise.

“Rei-chan!” Nagisa says, hurrying to the side of the rink. Rei is already picking himself back up, probably used to falling from months of practising. “You can skate now?!”

Smiling a little, Rei looks down at his snow-covered thighs. “I got lessons, after I met you. You inspired me.”

“That’s amazing, Rei-chan!” Nagisa beams, pride filling his every bone. “You look like a natural.”

“I’m not that good, honestly,” Rei says, waving the compliments off. “I actually wanted to be better, by this point, but it was too much to achieve in such a short time.”

“Well yeah, you’ve only been skating for three months, right?” Nagisa leans on the barrier separating them. “Even what you were doing is pretty good for three months.”

After a moment, Nagisa remembers the bouquet. “Oh yeah, is this why you wanted me to come here?”

Rei nods, moving a little closer to the edge of the rink. “Yes, partially. I wanted to show you that I’ve learnt to skate, because you inspired me to do so. But there’s something else I want to show you, too.”

“Ooh, what is it?”

“Give me a minute to take off my skates, and I can show you.”

Nagisa bounces on the spot as Rei skates off the ice and removes his skates - pristine black skates with sharp blades, certainly not rental ones. His smile grows at the idea that Rei is taking this so seriously. Mind wandering to daydreams of skating alongside him, he doesn’t notice Rei standing up until he says his name a couple of times.

Rei takes him into an exercise room within the ice skating centre. It looks like it’s usually a weights and fitness room, but a large space has been cleared on the centre of the floor. At the far end of the room, where Rei takes Nagisa, there is a sound system and some chairs. Nagisa takes a seat and watches as Rei changes into ballet slippers. The dancer then navigates to a song on his phone and hooks it up to the stereo, handing it to Nagisa when he’s done.

“Can you press play for me?”

Without a word, Nagisa nods, eyes never leaving Rei as the dancer moves to the centre of the room, taking position with his head hung low. Nagisa presses play.

The humming of violins comes through the speakers, drawing Rei upright. This time, though, he is different - not only because he’s taken off his glasses, though. His entire demeanour is lost in a story Nagisa is only now being told, his face filled with sadness. Arms circle in languid movements, and he rises into an arabesque, pausing as the music does.

Then it picks up. Something catches Rei’s eye, and he dances to follow it, every movement graceful and precise. He begins to smile more, eyes alight with something which flares inside of Nagisa. The dance feels like a direct response to his own free skate, if that’s even possible. Could this be Rei’s side of the story?

As the music progresses into its final _coda_ , Rei slows down with it. His movements flow once more with slow elegance, but this time, they are filled with something like hope. He finishes on his knees, arms outstretched towards Nagisa, eyes burning with emotion.

The music ends, but the atmosphere hangs in the air for a long time afterwards. It takes a minute or so for Nagisa to react, and when he does, it’s immediate. He stands and launches himself into Rei’s ready arms, tears welling up in his eyes. Rei catches him, arms encircling him with so much care it almost pains him.

“You’re so beautiful, Rei-chan,” Nagisa gasps through his tears.

Rei’s reply is almost inaudible, but Nagisa catches it regardless. “You’re the beautiful one, Nagisa-kun.”

They stay like that, caught in each other’s embrace, for a while, unaware of time passing around them. When they untangle, it takes only seconds for laughter to fill their lungs, giddiness finally seizing them. Finally, both of them have found the things they were searching for.

And later, both Nagisa and Rei will know that this is something they will never let go of. From the beginning until the end, every movement will draw them in, enthralled until the final curtain is drawn.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: Rei's first skating lesson is heavily based off my own first ice skating lesson, which I had on Tuesday last week. I had a lot more fun than Rei though, lol.
> 
> Follow me at [randomactuallywrites-57](http://randomactuallywrites-57.tumblr.com) on tumblr | [@randomwriter57](http://twitter.com/randomwriter57) on twitter!


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